How Benjamin Hardy’s Book “Personality Isn’t Permanent” will change the way you view possibilities

A book review for Benjamin Hardy’s new book Personality Isn’t Permanent

I was given the amazing opportunity to read an advanced copy of Dr. Benjamin Hardy’s new book Personality Isn’t Permanent. As an avid non-fiction reader and personal growth seeker, I think I’ve pretty much uncovered the essence of this genre. Trust me, after all this time I’ve spent reading and following up with many big shots in this genre, I can tell what is well-meaning, but short- lived in terms of applicability, from content that is truly changing and molding me.

Why am I prouder of my life ? Dr. Hardy’s first book Willpower Doesn’t Work, journal course and his articles positively changed me. I got so much out of these resources that I didn’t think there’d more to it! But, just wait, Personality Isn’t Permanent further solidified Dr. Hardy’s central tenet and also made resources much more easy to access. It includes questions at the end of each segment. If you ever remember a key point made in this book that applies to a situation and want to refer back to details, Dr. Hardy clearly and logically organized the chapters of this book by topics that build on each other so you can easily locate any topics discussed. To name a few, “empathetic witness”, “forcing function”, “decision fatigue”, “environment parsing”, are easy to locate following the logical organization and progression of the book.

Let me describe some of the points that this book makes which I can dive deeper and resonate with.

First, I’ve browsed books and came across ones with the topics such as “introverts actually wield a lot of significant influence” or “how to determine and enhance your personality”. It is rather dubious because the validity of these central claims is built entirely upon the premise that we are divided into introverts and extroverts or some other categories. This categorization is designated as a myth.

One thing that I totally agree with upon reading a chapter in Personality Isn’t Permanent is those who are teens in the turn of the millennia(older millennials), have a different kind of rigid structure when it comes to identity.

I am an older millennial. Looking back at my teenage years, I was wondering who I was, and when I didn’t have an immediately ready answer, I felt like I was behind in development, just needed to try harder. If you’re like me, chances are you’ve heard of some songs by Canadian singer Avril Lavigne. Some songs repeatedly posed the question of “Who am I?”. A task it is, however she definitely found “Who I am”; apparent in the style she bore. She was 16 years old at the time the album was released in 2002. Coincidentally, I was 13 years old, and a big fan. Us female millennials, especially when we were teens, were encouraged to find “Who I am”. From made-for-girls YMCA journal entries with questions like “What does your room look like?”, “how do friends describe you?”, to girl power songs and movies, I was a teenager sometimes pressured to find who I am, because apparently that’s what other model 16 year- olds are able to come to a conclusion to. By the time you reach 17 you should be able to be who you are. It is a fixed mindset perpetuated by pop culture and problematic to say the least. Looking back, I would’ve said to my 14-year-old self, “action precedes passion” by Dr. Hardy. I would also say now, it is fine if you haven’t found who you are, precisely because who you are at 14, is not who you are going to be decades later, there’s no need to feel inferior, just keep going.

For my connections who know I am a graduate student obtaining a Master’s degree, I started recently doubting my desire for my future in this career path.

As I was contemplating my career, I listed in my journal some negative thinking I have towards this career track. Surprise! I had many. But, very importantly, I need better forcing function. It all danced around self-evidenced perception that I am not skilled enough to do this, or I have passed the best time to build a solid foundation for this, making my journey harder. I have things that come much easier to me that I could’ve chosen than this career path. Keeping tabs and doing my journal writing, emphasized by Dr. Hardy, I discovered that no matter how good I’ve done, or how many times I have demonstrated that I’m good at certain calculations or concepts, I still wouldn’t think of myself as smart and able as the others in this subject matter! I have a way of evaluating what I am able to do; there are specific indicators that I use to do that — comparing my performance to my peers’. This is similar to a woman named Rosalie’s evaluation of her drawing capability by the art teacher in the book. I want to place the emphasis on the individual. Do you? Do you have a clear evaluation of what you are capable of? To tell whether you can succeed in certain endeavor? If the answer is yes, and that you think you can’t succeed, Dr. Hardy’s writing would encourage you to give that a second thought. Are there things that are challenging to you, which you turned away from because you didn’t think you were able to do it? The truth is, you really don’t know, not even the most discerning professionals in your field of study can predict that. This is where cultivating confidence comes in, which is discussed fully in this book.

“You can’t have it[confidence] first; it must come as a by-product of chosen and goal-consistent action.”

— Benjamin Hardy

I would echo with Dr. Hardy’s profound work in the psychology of growth. I could think of another instance in which I’ve fallen prey to some myth about personality in the past.

Something that an older relative said affected me deeply inmy journey. While we were just chatting about work, and talking about the job demands and scope of the work he was doing, he said that “ the work is not easy, therefore there are people that are good, then there’re people that are just in the wrong profession.” This quote, coming from someone who is a working professional with experience, would sneak up on me whenever I’m thinking about my career direction, to my detriment. In a negative way that many might not anticipate, he was saying you have to be certain type to be in certain line of work. It aligned with the popular opinion that introverts should not be in the sales position, or similarly, leaders are leaning more big picture rather than detail-oriented. This is something that bothered me which I didn’t know how to deal with, until I read Personality Isn’t Permanent.

“In order to become someone different, you must do something different, today. You must act in ways that are more reflective of the emotions you want to experience in your future, rather than living out the emotions of your past. The only way to do that is to wake up and intentionally decide who you will be and how you will act.”

— Benjamin Hardy

When you’ve overly assumed a label, you believe that label is always true, which it’s not. In different contexts, you will likely display attitudes and behaviors contrary to the label. But because you see the label as who you are, or as important, you may not give heed to those instances when the label doesn’t fit.

— Benjamin Hardy

I sought to add forcing functions in my life and intentionally construct my environment to one that bring on positive emotions and directions as reminders that keep me on track.

For such a big change, from my past self who dreamt about leaving a mark in the world and initiated to actually doing that, I am proud of myself and am much more clear and intentional.

Need somewhere to start? read Personality Isn’t Permanent. I would recommend subscribe to Ben’s emails for his latest articles as well. You will be on an exhilarating journey.

For the book : visit Personality Isn’t Permanent by Benjamin Hardy PhD